The Importance of Men Relationships
If you are sick and tired of your man making time to hang out with his friends, stop and think a bit before you confront him about it. You may want him around all the time, but just as you need your girlfriends, he needs to have male bonding time too. Men relationships are important just as it is important for you to have someone to talk to, vent to, and talk about life with when you are feeling down, excited, happy, or sad. The problem should not be that he hangs out with friends, but perhaps how he goes about doing it. Pick your battles well.
Most women do not have problem with men relationships until they feel that these relationships, and the hobbies that go with them, are interfering in the marriage or relationship. Men need other men for friendships, but some do try to take it too far. A good marriage is one in which you take care of your family together, nurture your relationship, but also make time for yourself. The amount of time spent away from the family is often the issue. If you are worried and thinking about men relationships a lot, it could be that something is off key for you, though he may be happy with the way things are.
There should always be balance in any relationship. That means that he can have time with his friends, and so should you. However, men relationships should never leave the wife feeling as if she is taking on the full burden of raising the kids, caring for the house, and everything else all on her own. Men relationships that revolved around drinking (and many do) can actually become a problem when that need to drink with buddies is impeding the relationship and taking away from the security of the family. One of the signs of alcoholism is neglecting family and a damaged marriage, yet the person continues to drink.
You can't expect to have a man with no men relationships, but you can expect that he will always put his family first. Guys night twice a week is excessive, especially if you have kids. Guys night twice a month is much more reasonable. Golf once a week is great, but golf five nights a week will bring problems into the best of marriages, unless, of course, the couple is playing with each other rather than off with friends all that time. You and your husband or partner need to come to an agreement about men relationships or you will always have problems.
Men need men relationships to de-stress. They often do not talk about deep problems, but use time together to relax. They compare notes about life at times, and often this is a good thing for your marriage. Sometimes, men can feel better just by hanging out, playing pool or golf, without talking about anything. They need this, but they do not need to take advantage. You want fair time between the two of you when you can hang out with friends, so long as your family and your marriage are thriving. Balance in all things is key to long term happiness.
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