Adoption Searches

It seems that every soap opera I've ever watched has a storyline about someone discovering that they are adopted. This makes for a dramatic few weeks, whilst the character comes to terms with the news and embarks on finding their biological family. There's a good reason why scriptwriters pick this topic. It must be one of the biggest emotional traumas to find out you are adopted. Adoption searches are very common these days in real life.

In the past, being adopted had a stigma attached to it. Many adoptive parents didn't tell their adopted children the truth. They didn't want the awkward questions and all the emotional upheaval. They also didn't want the child to be involved in adoption searches for their secret parents. People are generally more open and honest these days, and I'm sure that's the best policy. If I had adopted, I would tell the child from a very young age. There is a way of communicating this information in terms the child can understand, and still make them feel safe and wanted. I think adoption searches are a good idea and the more help the organizations who help with searches can give, the better.

Every child deserves to know where they come from, and no one has the right to keep it from them. It's better to know than to be lied to and deceived, even if the circumstances of the child's birth are bad. From a practical point of view, it may be necessary to know one's real history. For example, in a situation where someone needs a blood transfusion, an organ donation or is likely to inherit a disease. This is what usually happens in the soaps! Adoption searches are traumatic in themselves and may take years to come to any conclusion. I would have to find my biological family, no matter what.

It's a natural instinct to want to know one's roots. I would want to know what my parents looked like and what personalities they had. What traits had I inherited from them? Going on adoption searches does not in any way lessen the bond with the adoptive parents, although I can understand they may feel defensive about it. The best outcome of adoption searches is when you find your other family and they accept you, and your adoptive family understand that your loyalty is still with them.

Not every search has a happy ending. Some biological parents don't want to know. It may be a secret from their own families or it may be just too hard to face. Adoption searches don't just turn up parents of course. You may find a whole bunch of siblings, cousins, uncles and aunts. Finding them is like fitting pieces together in a jigsaw, even if it's just knowing where you got your strong chin from.

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